I love writing erotica and I love writing from another point of view. Writing from the perspective of women, homosexuals, people of other races, backgrounds or from other cultures is a delightful challenge to my ability to explore empathic prose. I hope to perfect this skill but humbly realize that doing so is a writer’s hollandaise. If he does it well, he is skilled, and if he does not, it will make his writing clunky and unsavory, like a pustule on an otherwise remarkable areola. In this story I’m also challenging myself do do something that I’ve read in many of the books edited by Susie Bright. I’m writing a story where the primary emotion is not arousal, but sorrow. The stories that I’ve read that follow this vein have not been the most arousing to me but have nonetheless been the ones that stay with me, tossing and turning in my head like a fever rattles a victim of rabies in their sleep. So, with hopes of your reading and enjoyment, I present the story I conjured on my drive home today. Looking forward to your comments, be they kind or castrating - Kidder
I run my fingertips repeatedly up and down the lengths of my labia, brushing lightly on the hood of my clitoris on my way back down. I love the way I feel when I’m this aroused. The wetness is plentiful and covers my entire vulva and makes everything feel delightfully slippery. My pussy lips are engorged and smooth and I press my fingers deeply into them as I rub my slit. My clit is getting bigger and more sensitive and within a few strokes I’ll be ready to focus on it and begin to taste my pending orgasm. I think about my cunt, and how much I love calling it, “a cunt.” I get wetter as I recall the many adventures that my cunt and I have had together, fingers that have caressed it, the tongues that have tasted it, and the cocks that have pounded it and filled it with creamy-white spunk. 
It feels so good to rub my clit, like scratching an itch that is connected to every cell in my body. I want and orgasm and I need relief from this overwhelming arousal. If only I could rock my hips a little I’d be there, but I can’t, because I’m not alone. My husband is sleeping next to me in bed, and I don’t want to disturb him. I’m not ashamed to masturbate in our bed, but if I move too much or make too much noise, he may wake up and say with utter contempt and annoyance, “Stop shaking the bed.” If that happens there’s no way I’ll be able to get off and I’m so close right now. 
I draw my fingers lower to the opening of my vagina and replenish the lubrication to my clitoris and continue my assault on my primary sex organ. I’m so wet and so engorged. I wish he would wake up and feel me right now and feel how aroused and ready my cunt for his cock. He could so easily fuck me right now. I close my eyes and imagine him discovering me and taking advantage of the situation I’ve provided for him. But he won’t. It is way too late in the evening for him to even consider enjoying my pussy. Besides, when I asked if he wanted to make love after dinner, he let me know he wasn’t in the mood by looking away and sighing. God it hurts so much when he does that and it never makes me feel any better when he says, “We had sex last weekend.” I’ve never understood why telling me that we had sex three days ago is in some way a consolation for wanting to have him close to me and inside me now. He’s so good at making sex seem like a chore for him. I wish he wanted me as much as I wanted him. 
FOCUS! Negative thoughts aren’t going to bring this orgasm to fruition. Think sexy thoughts and remember the times that I feel wanted and attracted. The cute undergrad girl who stares way too long at my tits when she serves my morning cappuccino. Oh how I’d love to give her an experience that would haunt her the next three-hundred times she rubbed one out. How I’d love for her first taste of pussy to be mine. I switch hands and bring my fingers to my mouth as I imagine leaning against a counter while she, still dressed in her green apron, kneels and presses her tongue to my wet pussy. Oh my God! I taste so good! My juice is like unrefined sex in liquid form. I nearly climax as I suck the lubrication from my fingers. I switch hands again and rub my lips in circles as though I was applying sex flavored lip balm. 
I toy with the idea of slowly removing the covers from my husband and sucking his cock into my mouth with my pussy-lubricated lips. I think about how good it would feel in my mouth and how good his cum would taste especially with the essence of my juices in the mix. I love it when he lets me suck his cock after he’s fucked me. My cunt flexes as that last thought fills my mind. Fuck that is hot! I wish he liked the flavor of us mixed together too but he doesn’t even like kissing me after my mouth touches his cock muchless after he cums in it. I wish he loved the way that my pussy tastes, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t even like it. He compares it to the taste and texture of other bodily secretions that are not even remotely sexy. My stomach turns as I recall him saying that to me so easily as though it were a perfectly reasonable excuse for not giving me oral sex. So often he says and does things without even so much as a moment of consideration as to how that may make me feel about myself. 
I feel ugly and undesirable and my hand stops moving. 
Fuck him! I rub myself harder and faster and think of the many partners I’ve had before and since that have loved licking my twat and have never tired of drinking whatever fluids they could suck from it. I loved kissing them afterward and tasting my cum on their lips and in their mouth. I love how aroused they were after tasting my sex and it made me feel sexy and beautiful to know that there are people who find my cunt delicious enough to come back for seconds. I allow my mind to drift back in memory to where I keep my naughtiest sexual triggers.
I think of old boyfriends and how they kissed me for hours upon hours. My husband rarely kisses me at any great length anymore, which is sad because he’s really good at it and makes out with other women with reckless abandon. I’ve watched him longingly nibble and suck on their lips. I watch his hips grind salaciously as his tongue passionately dances with her’s. I wish he’d do that with me again and invest so much time and energy into getting me turned on before thrusting his cock in me. 
I refocus on sexy thoughts as I feel my arousal and wetness begin to wain. Feeling sorry for myself isn’t going to make me cum.
I remember being innocent and afraid when boys began to seek beneath my panties with nervous fumbling fingers. I recall my first orgasm with my first boyfriend and my first fuck. I remember the first time I had sex without a condom and how delicious it was to feel skin on skin and his cock explode into me. I remember having sex, quite literally all night long, as often as we could have it whenever we we’re lucky enough to sleep in the same bed. I remember the feelings of having his cock renter me for the second, third and fourth session, me still wet from his previous deposit of sperm. I remember trying every position we could think of, each one new and different and special. I remember the first time I heard someone say that they loved me right as his cock erupted in my cunt. I remember how he held me tight before, during, and after each fuck and feeling more wanted and loved than I ever had.
God, I want to feel special like that again. I want to feel wanted. Heck, I’d just settle for knowing that someone was thinking about me enough to want to do something nice for me. When’s the last time someone made me feel really special? Wait... Didn’t something happen today that made me feel special?
Yes! I got an email from his secretary telling me that I should clear my schedule and be available a few weeks from now because he had special plans for me. The message was so cryptic, as though there was some great secret he was planning for me. Maybe he was going to take me somewhere special. It wasn’t that far away from my birthday so the idea wasn’t completely implausible that he had some romantic plans that he’d spring on me. Giving in to my suspension of reality I fantasized about him making time to be with me in romantic and seductive ways, promising me that he’d make love to me however I’d like and that nothing was off limits. I smiled imagining him holding me tightly and telling me he was sorry that he doesn’t find the energy or time to treat me the way that I deserve to be treated enough. I’d give my left ovary just to read a card from him that said anything even remotely close to that. 
I love him so much and I desire him so much. He’s so sexy. Even as he sleeps my skin cries for him to touch me, and my heart aches for him to want me. But it isn’t a romantic get away that requires me to clear my schedule and it isn’t my birthday that caused him to contact me with such an odd request. I suddenly remember that he was scheduled to have a vasectomy and he needed me to drive him to and from the clinic. I’m such a fool. I’m a silly girl with silly desires that will simply never be. He’s getting a vasectomy so that he doesn’t get his other partners pregnant. It is a good thing, that neither of us will need to worry about anymore, but I so wish it was something else. I feel like an idiot for allowing myself to believe that he’d do something so spontaneous for me. He’s not spontaneous and he’s not romantic.
He looks blurry in the darkness, sleeping peacefully on his back. I am no longer interested in touching myself or having an orgasm. My fingers are damp and I wipe them on my nightshirt, the tight pink one that I bought hoping he’d enjoy seeing me wear. My crotch feels messy and gross. I wish there was a towel within reach so I could get rid of the disgusting feeling between my legs. I turn my head on my pillow and I stare at the ceiling and tightly close my eyes.  A tear runs down my cheek and I involuntarily inhale a stuttering gasp of air. I bite my lip to contain what is most likely the beginning of a deep sobbing. My lips still taste like pussy and right now it tastes like he’s described and I regret having touched my fingers to my lips. Despite being repulsed by the flavor, I bite my lip harder to contain the emotions building inside of me. My body wants to cry and wail but I cannot, because I’m not alone, but I need to because I am so very much alone. 

Permission Granted

Jade sees her target and lunges forward in the water. “Smack!” Lorax spins around after bending over from checking the temperature in the hot tub. She rubs her ass cheek where Jade’s red hand print is beginning to take shape. “That’s it, you are beer bitch.” Says Jade with a very naughty smile. After some useless protesting Lorax accepts her fate after the rest of the naked guests start calling out drink orders. 
I give a wink which she returns with an even dirtier smile than before and offer to help Lorax carry everything back. I get out of the hot tub, grab a towel and follow Lorax up the stairs. Jade’s hand print glows more brightly on her right ass cheek with each step. As Lorax begins filling a vase with vodka and ice at the bar, I open my towel and step forward. With my hardening cock pressed against her ass, I gently bite the side of her neck. She shivers and laughs and tries to ignore me while she pours more booze into the concoction. 
With one hand I reach around her and gently lift up one of her breasts while my other makes its way down to her mound. I look into the mirror and see our reflection. As our eyes meet in the mirror I’m hit full-bore by her devastatingly penetrating fuck-me-eyes. She carefully puts down the bottle, takes a deep breath and turns to face me. She steps backward toward the bar and smiles while looking down ward as if to hide her desire from me. “What are you doing?” She asks without making eye contact. Without answering I step forward so that my upward pointing erection makes contact with her labia. With a shutter, she inhales deeply again. 
“You are wet. I can feel it on the head of my cock.” I tell her calmly as I move in to kiss her. She places her hand on my chest and pushes me back. “We cannot do this!” She says in protest. “Well, I can’t go back down their with the scent of your pussy on my cock. What if Jade want’s to suck it before I get back in the water?” I say with a weak dedication to my ploy. “Well, what do you want me to do about that?” She asks while looking down at my cock which is disappearing between her labia. I step backward, grab the base of my cock and tell her to suck it. 
She licks her lips and falls instantly to her knees. I feed her the head of my cock with my hand and grab the back of her head with my other hand. As she sucks the shaft into her mouth I pull out and slide back into her wet mouth. After a few minutes I start really fucking her mouth. With my hands I hold her still as I pivot my hips back and forth. I whisper dirty things to her while she gags on my cock. I tell her what a good little slut she is and that she sucks cock as well as a seasoned whore in wartime. I ask her if getting her mouth fucked makes her pussy wet but instead of letting her answer I just thrust deeper into her mouth. I let out a moan as I feel a climax approaching. I hold on as long as I can as I feel the point of no return speed dangerously close. I hold her head tightly and slowly pull my twitching cock from her mouth. She tries to follow with her tongue and lips. “Oh you want my cum?” I tease her. “Well, open your mouth!”
She opens her mouth and sticks out her tongue as I carefully give my cock the last 4 strokes I needed build up a load of cum in the base of my cock. I stop stroking and aim the head of my cock toward the back of her throat and shoot one large squirt of spunk into her mouth. With my hand shaking I somehow force myself to release my cock and stop my ejaculation just after the first contraction. 
Lorax swallows and looks up at me with lust in her eyes. I put out my hand and help her stand up. She shakes her head and sighs in disbelief of what I just did to her. She attempts to steady herself and continue making the drinks but she’s way too distracted to do anything. She looks as though she wants to say something but finds herself speechless each time she attempts to say something. 
Again I step behind her and this time she takes a step back toward me throwing her head back. I grab the back of her hair with one hand and grab her pubic mound with the other and in one move I push her head forward and pull her hips backward so that she’s bent over the bar. She whimpered as I held her in place for a few seconds. I didn’t release her until I was sure that she submitted by her placing her hands firmly for support on the top of the bar. 
Slowly I reached back, grabbed my cock and slid the head up and down her dripping wet slit. I tell her I’m going to fuck her cunt and easily slide my cock into her until my balls make contact with her clit. She cries out and chokes it back in an attempt to be quite. “Shhh. We don’t want to get caught.” I warn her as I push my cock firmly into her hot-wet sex. I continue to hold still until I begin to feel her rocking her hips back and forth trying to fuck herself on my shaft. 
I grab a fist-full of her hair and push her head down as I pull nearly all the way out and push myself back inside with one long firm thrust. She releases a quite but high-pitched whine and I feel her pussy quiver around my cock as she enters a nearly immediate orgasm. I release her hair and move my hands to her hips as her orgasm subsides. “My turn.” I say as I pull her backward toward me and I begin to thrust into her with complete abandon. Our genitals make we smacking noises as I roughly assault her pussy with my cock. 
“Cum in me!” She manages to repeat over and over again in-between heavy panting. As my orgasm approaches I slow down my thrusting and push my cock as deeply into her as I possibly can where I pump load after load of hot cum. She moans and again I feel her milking my cock with her powerful vagina as she cum with me. After assuring that I’ve dumped as much cum in her as I possibly can, I pull out of her like a piece of warm taffy. I grab my towel and leave her there, leaning over the bar breathing heavy and leaking cum down her thigh. 
I grab a few bottles of water and a six pack of beer and head back down to the party in the hot tub. As I arrive, I see Jade straddling on of her favorite female playmates. She notices me and breaks off her kiss long enough to ask, “Did you do it?” “Yes,” I answer as I climb back into the water.” With increased interest she squeezes the pert pair of tits connected to the person pinned underneath her. “Does she have any clue that I gave you permission to fuck her?” “None at all. She even tried to stop me from using her mouth and cunt as my own personal playground once or twice, but really didn’t put up too much of a fight.” I explain as I settle back into a set of massaging jets.” With a devilish grin Jade jokes that she’s going to spend the rest of the night tormenting her until she fesses up. “This is going to be fun.” Jade giggles as she turns back and kisses her friend deeply on the mouth. 
After some time Lorax did return to the hot tub with drinks held in shaky hands and a bright red face. “What took you so long up there, Lorax? We were worried you tripped, fell and landed on something hard.” Jade teased. Lorax let out a nervous cough as she passed the drinks around. “What’s the matter? Did you choke on something?” Jade continued her mockery. “You know you have to stop before you make her cry right.” I say taking some pity on the poor girl. “Oh let me have a little fun.” Jade pleads. The entire hot tub laughs while Lorax remains speechless trying to figure out exactly what is going on.